I think I did more research about who did my first tattoo than I did about what college to attend and what car I should buy. I mean, a cringe-worthy tattoo is the quickest way to label yourself as an idiot. You never see upstanding members of society with the Wu-Tang logo tattooed on them by what looks like a five-year-old. People who get dumb tattoos are exclusively blue-collar workers, teenagers who think they’re being edgy, and pretty much every one in the NFL. If you’re none of those, screen your tattoo artists before you allow them to draw permanent things on your body.
And if you’re the kind of person who gets a bad tattoo covered up with an even worse tattoo, well, I hope you never procreate. Your line needs to end here.
1. That girl everyone used to make fun of before and after puberty.
2. Why does it have a mustache?
3. He turned a bad tattoo of a Japanese blowup doll into a nice tattoo of a pinup girl. Neat.
4. Kids: Never get a tattoo just because everyone else seems to be getting a tattoo.
5. Too bad you can’t cover up a cover-up
6. Yeah, that’s right. You cover up that stupid tattoo you got during your angst-filled teenage years.
7. The top four are his cousins. Laura is his step-sister.
8. Homer is a lucky dude.
9. Oh great, it still looks like shit.
10. I believe the word you’re looking for is “has” not “is.”
11. Does every ex-wife look the same?
12. Any and all things related to Animal are certifiably badass. So good job.
13. It’s like the cover-up tattoo is laughing at the hideousness of the original tattoo.
14. You can’t cover up stupid with more stupid.
15. It hurts my brain that this was considered a “cover-up.”